I have been out of school for 22 days or something close to that. It seems like a century already and I still have 3 months left!
The first couple of weeks were great, I caught up on sleep and cleaned my room, spent time with my dog, OH! and I got the best letter in the mail that I had received one of only a hand full or so of the design scholarships my teachers from the design department were awarding! I also visited a school that I may be transferring to and I also got news of being on the Deans List again! All of these amazing things happened because of school. The place I love, a place I call home since I am there more than my own home during the semester, a place where I have a social life and I completely fit in with all of the people because we are all going to school for the same thing. A place where I can learn everyday and my mind can grow along with my motivation to be a better person.
And now...here I am...in a state of well I really don't know what to call it. I can't tell who or what I am mad at. I have slid down the rocky hurtful side of the mountain I was on top of and I have now hit the dark lonely valley. Last week I wrecked my car with no real idea of what to do about it except drive around with a busted head light and hope that I don't get pulled over one day and get ticketed for that too. Yes, thank you God that I am ok, and now "my first accident is over" but do I really have to become this depressed about it? Every single time I look at my car I just replay it all over again, I don't even want to drive it anymore. The whole thing was so stupid and just a BIG MISTAKE that I can't take back.
Now I hate when people say "that's just my luck" but I feel like I am being punished for something...
Saturday I fell off the boat into the reservoir. Wasn't really a big deal since I can swim and I wanted to swim anyways, but this was about half an hour before I was planning and I was still wearing my glasses, which I lost, my iPhone and my "crap" phone were in my pockets and they're still drying out, so far both only work if plugged into the outlet, not on their own. So I went for a swim and lost my glasses, my phone for communication and my iPhone that I use for taking pictures and social media. Sure, I've been saying I wanted to go back to not having a phone but I didn't really mean cold turkey.
I just can't believe how fast things can change, one second I am so happy and excited about school and scholarships and the next second I've wrecked my car almost ruining chances of even being able to go back to school in the fall. It is completely lonely in the valley and it's completely lonely and boring not being in school. I miss my dog every day I am in school but he's not much of a talker. I don't like being a "baby" in my walk with God, it makes finding the answers much harder. Unlike a real baby I can't cry until I am given what I need. I have to keep my faith, know that God is there and look for His signs on what to do. For now I am all adventured out, and that's something I thought I'd never say.
This post was literally going to be 3 sentences, looks like God had other plans.
#StayHappy
No comments:
Post a Comment