As for right now I am fighting with a wire sculpture that is due for a class tomorrow that I had to take a break from before I broke something valuable out of frustration. I was very close to having a melt down like when I was 2, I even banged on my computer a little hard when it was taking forever and Charlie got up from his nap to see what was wrong. I really needed that, he calmed me down. Which was a very quick answer to prayer because I was so close to tears out of frustration. Does this mean I can claim Charlie as a medical dog? I now have a wiry hunk of metal that will have to suffice for the border because I just can't deal with it anymore since I still have hours of work to do on it.
Lately I have been so tired that I have been numb from all other emotions besides grumpiness and exhaustion. Finally, while watching the Cory tribute on Glee last night, I cried for the entire hour. This made me open up and be able to feel deep inside. Now I with certain songs and throughout the day and emotions I turn into a blubbering mess. I am glad I am no longer numb to what I am feeling because I can feel God speaking to me again and see what is going on around me. I listen to Air1 on the radio all the time and the songs have touched me more than usual all day today. I felt closer to God. It wasn't because of the episode of Glee, it was because I was finally able to sit down for a second, concentrate and that thing happened to be a very sad episode of Glee and now I feel slightly like myself again. I am still very tired, very exhausted but very uplifted in knowing that God is with me in this hard, tiring journey and He is the one I can talk to when I am so busy that I can't find time for a social break.
I am witnessing plenty of people around me in my classes that don't come to class or don't do the work and I just don't get it. Their determination isn't there. I am determined everyday to do better than yesterday. Yes, I am discouraged often but I keep going. But I guess everyone is different and my struggles although seem like the worst, definitely are not, so I've got to suck it up and do my best.
I posted this song a while back but said it didn't pertain to me, well now it does. It's still my favorite song and still my ring tone. This post is way longer than it was supposed to be but I am also the best at procrastination, that wire sculpture is going to kill me.
As always-
#StayHappy
