Holiday Delay. Happy Memorial Day!!

    This week will be kind of short. I've been wanting to post the lyrics to my new favorite song. It's not necessarily how I feel right now or recently but have felt in the past and I know some people who feel like this now and they may get some help from it. I will also post the video!
Until next week folks!
#StayHappy

Tenth Avenue North - Worn Lyrics

Artist: Tenth Avenue North
Album: The Struggle 
    

I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But im too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
My prayers are wearing thin
And I’m worn
Even before the day begins
I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

(Lyrics from songlyrics.com)

 

 

 

When I get where I'm goin'.

    Throughout high school, I had too many interests to choose from and never focused in on any of them. I didn't play sports EVER, art was a joke until senior year and no other activities caught my attention. So I did absolutely nothing in high school besides going to class and getting good enough grades. I never tried hard enough to have excellent grades so I could get scholarships or grants for college. I didn't pay attention to any of that until it was too late. I didn't even want to go to college until half way through my junior year and it's too late to start caring by then.
    So then it's my Senior year and I'm scrambling to make a plan. (I liked plans back when I was making my own road signs instead of just reading the ones that were already there for me.) The plan I came up with was Florida. I ran away to Florida, took a semester at the community college for business, passed with flying colors, (failed the running away miserably) and moved back after 6 months. Plan over...
    Insert more scrambling, more creative road sign making and yet another fool proof plan.
    This one (on paper) says I did not fail. I went to Clark State for photography.

• It was always an in between thing until I figured out the details of Interior Design.
• It was creative. (I love being creative)
• I had an interest in learning photography as a hobby.

    Now onto why I am not a photographer even though a piece of paper says I am...

• I took the whole program while using the school cameras and computers with photoshop so I rarely had extra opportunities to practice or play around on my own and still don't.
• Since it was only for a hobby most of the stuff just didn't sink in.
• I have ADD and started taking medicine to help me concentrate after this program so if I did it all over again I'd probably feel better about my knowledge and skills.

    I'll have to pay for that piece of paper that says, "I'm a Photographer", soon but I don't regret that one bit. I may not have failed the classes at the time but I am certainly not a photographer. But without the photography classes I wouldn't have needed an internship which wouldn't have gotten me that invite to that church picnic I am so thankful for.
    That's where I started putting down the hand made road signs and reading the ones that were already there. You may be making your own plans right now and it seems like its going just right but when it all changes down the road just put down your signs and look for His.
    Now that I'm reading His signs I know I'm in the right school for Interior Design. It's what I've been interested in for a long time so I have little to no trouble paying attention. I was recently very stressed about the commute, money, rent and jobs and once again by following His signs I am relieved of the stress and I know I have made the right decisions for my future.
    So although I have a piece of paper that says I am a photographer, my mistakes of not paying enough attention in the classes and only just passing them and my inabilities prove otherwise. But the photography program was a thread in a different part of my life that I definitely needed to get me as far as I am in my life today. Just another amazing thing God has done for me.

#StayHappy

Concentrate, there's a lot of sparkly things out there to catch your attention.


    ******Now I'm not knocking my mad skills at being a photographers assistant! I did learn enough for that awesome job! Keeping track of things, ordering things, organizing things, ya know that's my thing with a photography spin!******


Now please enjoy the song you've been singing since you read the title...

Ahh...Now that that's all over...

    Now that finals are over and the March of Dimes walk was this past Saturday I can now breath some what easier! There are some newer stresses but that keeps life exciting, right?
    Some times you are thrown a curve ball and you have to decide in a split second whether to swing or take the ball. In my 2-3 week pause I was thrown a big curve ball and I am seriously relying on God to get me through this one. But ya know I had a plan and sometimes you just can't have your own plan because it's not up to you. It's really hard waiting for the signs to show up for the next step for what I should do next (sorry I am being very vague here but to get the message across details don't really matter) but I know it will be worth it in the end. If I hurry too much then I may just run to Disney World tomorrow and ruin all chances of keeping a good job close to school and family because ya know Disney is just way too tempting!
    I have never had such a hard confusing decision to make in my life. I have been so preoccupied with this one thing that I have sort of forgotten to pray or read the Bible sometimes and then I find myself so frustrated because I want answers NOW! But to find those signs and my answers I need to do those important things or I will just continue to be frustrated. I have found myself down in the valley A LOT the past couple weeks. I have mastered the mountainous show but when I am home, I am so confused on what to do, so very lost wandering through the valley.
    So what do I do? I keep the faith, keep my chin up, make the right decisions and stay happy because even though I am walking through the valley right now, I am not alone. (I was told this on church a couple Sundays ago.) Although I may be having troubles on the inside they don't need to spill out on everything on the outside. I can still smile on the outside to make someone else's day a little better. These decisions are consuming every thought in my head but I've got to try to keep positive and make the right decision.
    If you find yourself in a similar situation, I've left it vague enough to fit almost any hard decision in here, then just be patient and look up to God. A couple of Sundays ago I was told the mountain is where you go to be with God but the valley is where God comes to be with you. So you aren't alone in the valley, you will get through it.
    I can feel myself getting through this valley very soon. I am at the end of it now. Just have the biggest decision to make now before I can start climbing the mountain again.
    Well I just had to share a (vague) recap of the past couple weeks and how life as a Christian is still hard but so very worth it. Even though I don't have very many friends I never feel totally alone. He is always in my heart.
    So have a good week every one and hopefully this time next week I will have a decision made and can share the next major step in my life.

Stay Happy!!
Chin up!